Because these things happen to me....

So, I woke up today groggy and weary with the usual neck pain induced headache. I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings while walking Kaitlyn into the living room. Less than a foot from the living room I slipped and nearly fell into a puddle of kitty cat vomit. Yup. Vomit. It was very gross. I cleaned up the vomit, gagged a bit and went about my business.
I noticed the cat bowl was devoid of water and food, so I filled up some water and kitty crunchies and watched my little man munch. Talk about a mistake! After two bites of crunchies Edwin lost control of his bowels and vomited all over the banister! Horrified, I called the vet.
Three vets later I found one that would take him immediately. They asked if he'd gotten into anything or if I'd introduced him to anything new. I told them I'd put a flea collar on him yesterday. "Take it off immediately! Those things can be toxic to cats!" It was a flea collar for cats and kittens - said so on the box! I took the collar off and washed him in a sink of water and dawn dish soap. I dried him off and loaded the kiddo and the kitty in the Envoy and drove 40 minutes to the vet in Brooklyn, CT.
The vet trip was fine. Nothing too spectacular. They gave him a shot of atropine and told me he should recover. That was when they told me that Edwin was, in fact, a girl.
Yeah, you'd think I'd've noticed that. I've had him/her since March. He's/She's a very furry kitty and I never had any desire to go poking around in his/her privates. I have no obsessions with kitty testicles, so when I was told that he/she had them I went with it.
In retrospect I have a dog who is a lesbian and a cat who miraculously underwent a sex change within 6 weeks. I think there's something terribly wrong with my life... I seem to be animal cursed.
Upon coming home I discovered that the animal sick catastrophe was bigger than originally presumed. I found puddles of kitty diarrhea in the laundry room, the bathroom downstairs, and a small amount on the rug in the living room. I spent, without exaggeration, 2 1/2 hours cleaning kitty pooh puddles and disinfecting my house. The kitty litter box looked like a pooh bomb had exploded in it. Needless to say, I feel extremely nauseous and so tired I can hardly stand myself. This was a bit more excitement than I had anticipated on my day off.
Kitty seems to be doing okay. He's sleeping it off. I keep checking on him to make sure he's not dead. Poor guy/girl. Have to figure out what to do about his/her name now. Edwina sounds dumb and I really liked the name Edwin. He/she may just have to suffer through gender confusion.